Traci Lee

A Memoir

Honestly, when I first started reading I Love You and I’m Leaving You Anyway, I wasn’t that impressed. I felt it had the makings of a very slow read; that thoughts continued, where they could have easily concluded. Too many fillers, I guess you could say. However, when I finally got into it, I realized that Tracy McMillan needed to take this literary approach, that deviated from succinctness, to reiterate vital points.  In those moments following, I immediately recognized similarities between myself and Tracy that went far beyond our first names: Single mothers to 12-year old sons. Check. Feelings of insecurity. Check.  Failed relationships. Check.  Daddy issues.  Check. Doubts of being less-than-desirable. Check.  It doesn’t stop there.

There are many heartbreaking moments along the way, and you feel each emotion as the story is told.  Yet, McMillan rises above each occasion as she bravely continues with her memoir.  She wants to tell her story.  She wants to share with us the lessons she learned.  She wants us to not see her as the victim, but a victor.  She succeeds.

Tracy helped me answer questions that have plagued me for most of my adult life about the various relationships I’ve had with men.  For a while now, I’ve known that most of those issues, had to do with the missing void of my father, but like so many, I swept it under the rug.  McMillan helped raise an awareness in me that has long been ignored, and that has allowed me to repeat the same mistakes, because I never investigated far enough to see how much I was affected.  A majority of the time we go through life just accepting, and believing that “it as what it is”, without questioning why we are the way we are – especially, as it relates to relationships.

Being a lover of Psychology that I am, this book paralleled a freewrite session.  The ones where you just pour from the heart, bringing forth your subconscious thoughts, and looking back at the end of it, and learning things about yourself that you never knew, or feelings that have lain in dormant, for some time.  In other words, I can say that this book served as therapy for me.

While initially, I had thoughts of, “anyone could have written this book. Who doesn’t have these troubles growing up?” It took mere moments, for me to come to the conclusion that while many could have written it, not too many would have done it with the candor that Tracy did – not even myself.  Considering all that McMillan endured in her life, I don’t think anyone could have blamed her, and might have even expected for her, to travel the same road, to the streets, as her parents.  Instead, she turned her negative into a positive and put it into writing – as a journalist – in Hollywood. Definitely someone to admire.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone with unresolved childhood issues, who hasn’t yet had the courage to take a deeper look.

This post is part of TLC’s Book Tour. While I was given the book for free to review, I have not been compensated for this post and the views and opinions expressed are completely my own.

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