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Traci Lee

A Memoir

Honestly, when I first started reading I Love You and I’m Leaving You Anyway, I wasn’t that impressed. I felt it had the makings of a very slow read; that thoughts continued, where they could have easily concluded. Too many fillers, I guess you could say. However, when I finally got into it, I realized that Tracy McMillan needed to take this literary approach, that deviated from succinctness, to reiterate vital points.  In those moments following, I immediately recognized similarities between myself and Tracy that went far beyond our first names: Single mothers to 12-year old sons. Check. Feelings of insecurity. Check.  Failed relationships. Check.  Daddy issues.  Check. Doubts of being less-than-desirable. Check.  It doesn’t stop there.

There are many heartbreaking moments along the way, and you feel each emotion as the story is told.  Yet, McMillan rises above each occasion as she bravely continues with her memoir.  She wants to tell her story.  She wants to share with us the lessons she learned.  She wants us to not see her as the victim, but a victor.  She succeeds.

Tracy helped me answer questions that have plagued me for most of my adult life about the various relationships I’ve had with men.  For a while now, I’ve known that most of those issues, had to do with the missing void of my father, but like so many, I swept it under the rug.  McMillan helped raise an awareness in me that has long been ignored, and that has allowed me to repeat the same mistakes, because I never investigated far enough to see how much I was affected.  A majority of the time we go through life just accepting, and believing that “it as what it is”, without questioning why we are the way we are – especially, as it relates to relationships.

Being a lover of Psychology that I am, this book paralleled a freewrite session.  The ones where you just pour from the heart, bringing forth your subconscious thoughts, and looking back at the end of it, and learning things about yourself that you never knew, or feelings that have lain in dormant, for some time.  In other words, I can say that this book served as therapy for me.

While initially, I had thoughts of, “anyone could have written this book. Who doesn’t have these troubles growing up?” It took mere moments, for me to come to the conclusion that while many could have written it, not too many would have done it with the candor that Tracy did – not even myself.  Considering all that McMillan endured in her life, I don’t think anyone could have blamed her, and might have even expected for her, to travel the same road, to the streets, as her parents.  Instead, she turned her negative into a positive and put it into writing – as a journalist – in Hollywood. Definitely someone to admire.

I would definitely recommend this book to anyone with unresolved childhood issues, who hasn’t yet had the courage to take a deeper look.

This post is part of TLC’s Book Tour. While I was given the book for free to review, I have not been compensated for this post and the views and opinions expressed are completely my own.

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My friend called me crying today.  Seems she is fed up with her job.  She is feeling unappreciated, betrayed, and devalued, and wants to put it into words – in the form of a letter of resignation.

Since she knows I’ve written them before, she came to me.  After explaining everything and how it made her feel “less than”, I wondered why she even wanted to give notice.  But, since it’s what she wanted, I complied.  Below is what I came up with:

In hindsight, I see that this has been coming for a while now.  Though I regret the arrival of this day, I must stick by my decision to leave – effective immediately.  It hurts deeply because I thought this was the final stop for me.  I thought this was where I would grow old.  How naive I was.  People told me over the years that I should explore other options.  They told me that I would never receive the recognition I deserve here. Yet, I dismissed every word of it.

Last night, as I sat and revisited all the times I was made to feel unworthy, undeserving, and invisible, I felt the only way to regain my dignity, and a sense of empowerment, was to walk away.  For 6.5 years I have given 110% to this job, and took pride in doing so.  It seems that when we make things look too easy – in whatever aspect of life we are in – others simply can’t appreciate the real value of what they receive, or whom they receive it from.

I learned a great deal during my time here.  I learned just how much I have to offer, both as an individual, and as part of a team.  I do “thank you” for that.  In addition, I would like to “thank you” for being an integral part of my personal development process.  I am a better, more capable person because of my tenure, here.  There is definitely strength to be gained during times of pain. I know now I will no longer sit front row seat to overt misuse of my kindness.

Oh…before I forget, directly to your left in that pink envelope, you will find a copy of a picture I obtained from my co-worker’s cubicle of you hugged up and cozy with her sister at your 1-year anniversary dinner, about 2 weeks ago.  Imagine my surprise when I got a glimpse into the world of Facebook and saw your mug in several pictures! I never knew you were so photogenic.  But I do know why you were so opposed to me having a Facebook account.  My, my, my…what a wealth of information it holds!  Just goes to show how small the world is – and just how slick you are NOT.

In closing, I would like to say that if you happen to see me on the street, at a club, a restaurant, please feel free to keep walking for if you choose to stop, I am not fully responsible for my actions.  I would say in about a year, I might be able to look at you without feeling disgust.  Until that time, I feel it best you remain as far from my path as you can.

Puts me in the mind of Beyonce’s Irreplaceable and Fantasia’s Two Weeks Notice. Now, I’m sure she’ll put her own twist on this, but I’m hoping she keeps in line with what’s here…

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Making Choices…that FIT

by Traci Lee June 9, 2010 Living
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Sadly, many people lost their jobs at the onset of this current economic upset.  Just this morning, yet another corporation announced plans to cut its workforce by 1,ooo.  With this kind of emotional turmoil, suicide and divorce rates are at a high, and depression is residing amongst groups that previously

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Oprah Winfrey Biography: A Review and a Giveaway

by Traci Lee May 12, 2010 Reviewing
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We know all there is to know about Oprah Winfrey, right?  She has “opened” herself up on numerous occasions regarding abuse, weight gain/loss, triumph, adversity, and more.  So what more could there be to Oprah that hasn’t been previously divulged? I’d passed the book up several times at one of my

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Life Lessons from Nature

by Traci Lee April 5, 2010 Saying
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Long before I launched my webzine, I asked my mother to be a contributing author because I love the way she thinks and KNEW she would speak relevance.  She declined.  Her reason:  She didn’t feel anyone would want to hear what she has to say.  Imagine my surprise when I received an email

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Remind me again…”What is an 8-hour [Work] Day?”

by Traci Lee October 29, 2009 Educating
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My good friend sent me a text today.  It read:  “I really need to NOT wanna take a nap at this time everyday!” (It was 2:25 PM).  I replied: “embrace it and let ur mind and body rest.  It’s ur body talking to you“. My friend works hard to make

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“Unresolved childhood issues…”

by Traci Lee October 10, 2009 Parenting
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Yesterday, on the way home from a friend’s house, my son and I passed a homeless man on the street. Unlike the usual signs that most carry, his read: “Unresolved Childhood Issues”. When we were caught at the light, I had to stop and stare. It was such a BOLD

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Oprah does it again…

by Traci Lee September 30, 2009 Educating
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I’m sure I will get flack, from some, but I must go here… A few years ago, there was an “Oprah after the show” series on Oxygen, that continued beyond the 4:00 time slot.  I didn’t catch many episodes, but on a particular night, I remember watching speechless as Oprah

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