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T. Allen-Mercado

T. Allen-Mercado is a mixed media artist, msn.com award winning essayist, wife and un/homeschooling mother of two. On frequent occasion, when the cerebral levees break, her musings on love, life, art, and beyond are captured and recorded on her blog: Tea & Honey Bread.
 
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Welcome and of course welcome back to those of you who stopped in last week for our discussion on Friendship. This week we’re talking about young people, y’know “kids nowadays”. You hear it often and perhaps say it sometimes yourselves, “What is it with our young people?” I’m going to share some of my theories and that of other wonderful respected parents as we try to uncover the mystery behind the minds of our youth.

To preface, I’d like to say that I am a fan and staunch proponent of and for young people. I like to think of myself a devout guide, exceptional listener and all around pretty awesome parent. And, until such time that I am committed or my children publish works to the contrary, I’d like you to think of me this way as well. Winks.

One of the biggest “issues” discussed amongst Facebook contributors and my small committee of friends was entitlement. Today’s children-it is believed, feel more entitled than perhaps we did, or our parents for that matter. I don’t disagree, but I think it is important that we reveal and own, if applicable the source of said entitlement: American history.

Parent of 3, Mequet Hribar stated, “I have in no way taught my kids to feel entitled to the latest and greatest cell phone, car, clothes, shoes, bag, [etc]… But so many of their peers, especially at Bethany’s age [11], have all of that…” This is true. Consumerism has rendered most households dual income, which has many parents feeling like what was formerly known as “weekend dads”. They are compensating and over-compensating for their absence with expensive gadgets under the guise of keeping in touch; remote parenting, if you will. The latchkey kid, is now the cell-phone, iPhone [insert latest greatest phone here] until the next big promotion, pay raise, technological advancement comes and stuff clinches the lead, whilst family values, quality time and simple, sustainable living struggle for position.

Amy Bradstreet, unschooler, and mother of two added to the discussion in a similar vein of defense, “Jeers to the folks that forget how obnoxious we all were, every generation is. And if kids have a sense of entitlement, it’s entirely in the parents’ laps. (Wait, I couldn’t mean those same parents who bought more house than they could afford, gas guzzling cars, three car garages, 4,000 sq ft houses, the two-income parents who work for STUFF, etc–I couldn’t mean those parents? Yes. Those parents.)

Reading Amy’s comment, I couldn’t help but remember the entitlement of young people who rallied for civil rights, who rallied for and against major government upheaval; those obnoxious, entitled young people who went on to become the fodder of our now obnoxious young people’s history texts.

Nancy Ortiz McLemore, also a parent of two stated she was, “…impressed by their ability to absorb so much information. I think kids are more advanced now because of the information highway and the use of computers in schools. I see much advancement coming soon as the future generations flourish…” The world is a much smaller, more accessible place than it was when we were growing up. Our children have access to more information and are using it in ways we never would have imagined. Do you remember George Orwell’s 1984? Well, hello it’s 2010!

Aldous Huxley wrote, “The charm of history and its enigmatic lesson consist in the fact that, from age to age, nothing changes and yet everything is completely different.” In the same way we rebelled and revolutionized in our dungarees and afros, with our sit-ins, rallies and riots, the way Einstein and Franklin and Newton piddled with numbers and theories and string, our young people are making their mark in history; much of it will be monumental, and some of it not so much. Given what we’ve left them to work with “global warming, climate crisis, food/water shortages”, says Amy Bradstreet. I’d say we’ve left them in a position more comparable and warranting of survivalist mentality than that of entitlement.

In closing, I’ll say, I like to think of life in terms of everyday people coping with the world nowadays, instead of the world coping with young people nowadays. These children in all of their infinite splendor didn’t land here, they are yours and mine and ours. Oh wait, perhaps we were feeling entitled to an easier run at this thing called life? What say you?

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Sweet Tea Tuesdays: Friendship

by T. Allen-Mercado
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For all intents and purposes, Stephanie and I were destined to be friends: we’re both women of color, we’re sisters, daughters, aunts, imagined albeit faithful concubines of R&B singer Maxwell and professional teeth-sucking side eye shootin’ I got your actin’ up in public even if you aren’t my child mothers. Yet, we share a dissimilarity that has historically reduced friendships, marriages, families, empires and nations to ruins: religion.

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New Column: Sweet Tea Tuesdays

by T. Allen-Mercado
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Iced or hot, honey or sugar when Southern women commune there’s gon’ be some sweet tea! Welcome to Sweet Tea Tuesdays, my NEW! weekly column.

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Who’s In Your Tent?

by T. Allen-Mercado
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Off the top of your head, or perhaps your ear is still warm from your last phone call, who has been an integral part of your life, who knows your story better than you, who’s in your tent?

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One Choice, One Word

by T. Allen-Mercado
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As girls, women, and especially women of color, we live in a society which dictates we learn to fight: fight for equality, fight for recognition, fight for respect. All of this fighting, yet no one teaches us how to win…

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Enough is Enough

by T. Allen-Mercado
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Can we find it in ourselves to accept ourselves and others on their terms without the need to qualify based on old fears and/or the current criteria for Blackness?

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Prepared For Flight Part II

by T. Allen-Mercado
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This week, I took the time to remind myself that the many hats I wear go quite swimmingly with a hint of lip tint and a skirt every now and again! What have you done for you lately?

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Prepared for Flight

by T. Allen-Mercado
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Last week, when both children had plans and my husband was at work, I set out on a shopping junket, alone. I bought the usual sundries and a few items for the house, but I also picked up a few key components for my makeup bag-or “mask”, in this particular analogy.

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On Cake and Character

by T. Allen-Mercado
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It seems in all of my admonishments to do the right thing, I’ve neglected to stress the personal benefits of integrity and good character. Surely, we all want our children to be glowing examples of our supreme parenting capabilities, but it really is about them.

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Because I Can

by T. Allen-Mercado
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Of the many things I struggled to reconcile as: a woman of color, artist, mother, wife and feminist, is the ambiguity between the things I can do versus those things I wish to do.

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The Santa Cause

by T. Allen-Mercado
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Last year I made up my mind that I’d add Santa Claus to the list. Yes, the list; I’d jot his name down right under religion and politics and there he’d sit forever in conversational purgatory, and then…well, it happened.

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On Being a Mom of Hue

by T. Allen-Mercado
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What does being a Mom of Hue mean to me? Being a Mom of Hue symbolizes my contribution to the village. Being a Mom of Hue forges understanding, strengthens the bonds of all communal-based cultures; those of women, of family, of people of color all over the globe. Being a

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