While in college, I worked as a teller. I remember a regular customer who came in every week to deposit his paycheck. As I completed his transaction, we’d engage in friendly small talk. But he always stared – examining my demeanor, my speech, my hair, my skin. I could see his question, though he never asked. Then one day, he walked in beaming with self-confidence and proclaimed loudly for all to hear, “I figured you out! You’re a sista!”
And once again, I was reduced to what I am, rather than who I am.
Yea, I’m a mixed girl – half Black, half Japanese. And I’ve spent a lifetime responding to the most annoying question ever, “What are you?”
It’s a game to some…like the customer from my teller days. I think he wanted a gold medal for figuring out one half of my ethnic makeup. You should have seen him proudly saunter out of the building, topping his exit off with a quick wink back at me and snap of his fingers that said, “Gotcha!” – as if I was hiding.
But it was no fun for me, and it’s taken years for me to finally feel comfortable in my skin – my mixed up, multi-ethnic, not-one-checkbox-on-the-stupid-census-form skin. But, I’ve finally arrived and now I’m raising a three beautifully blended children of varying hues, from deep chocolate to honey caramel.
The question has changed though. It’s now become, “What are they?” – as if my children are a herd of wild zoo animals for sightseers to examine and pet – “oooh….their hair…aaah…their skin…”
But, this is our world. It’s a place where we long to belong and we are eager to put people where we believe they belong. So as I raise my children to be confident in who they are, I am grateful for resources like Tara Michener’s children’s book, Who I Am is Not Who I Am.
Tara graciously sent me a copy of her book to review and I looked forward to sharing it with my kids. The story follows Janelle, a young girl who explores what it means to be bi-racial. We see the questions her racial background raises at school and the questions she brings to her parents as she learns to celebrate who rather than what she is. Tara offers an insightful and engaging story that teaches children of all races how the unique qualities that make up their individuality goes far beyond the color of their skin.
This is a book that all children will enjoy. Schools around the country should embrace it as a tool to teach empathy and understanding about cultural differences, but more importantly to celebrate the individuality that makes each of us who we are.
To learn more about Tara Michener:
Visit her blog at http://whoiamnotwhatiam.blogspot.com, where you can purchase the Who I Am book, as well as her latest release, 100% Real. Also follow her on Twitter @taramichener.
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