This is an updated version of a post that I originally wrote for Type-A Mom.
Does it seem like you spend more time with your online friends than your IRL friends? Is your BFF in another state? Do you discuss the TTC issues of sue_tryin4one (made up name) with your DH? Is your website booming because of all the connections you have on the web?
If you are like most modern moms around today you probably answered yes to at least 2 of those questions. And that is not a bad thing.
I have been an “online mom” for about the past 10 years. It all started on iVillage when my quest to have children started. Since then I’ve been on various social networking sites, but I have always maintained a connection with the first few women that I “met” on the CAM (Conception After Miscarriage) board on iVillage. Many IRL (in real life) friendships have sprouted from those connections. We have visited each other’s homes, been on the phone to POAS (pee on a stick) together, vacationed together, and sadly even buried 3 of our sisters that were taken from us too young over the past few years. I don’t know what I would do without them.
It is important for everyone to have a support network. For some busy moms these days that are juggling businesses, households, and family, the web is a godsend for making those connections both personal and business. Sites like Type-A mom, Moms of Hue, Mom Bloggers club just to name a few are perfect.
Now with the surge in popularity of “Mommy Bloggers” this whole online mom thing has taken on a mind of it’s own. Meeting a young (20s-30s) mom now WITHOUT a blog is more rare than meeting one with a blog. We have our own blogging business cards, we generate money from out blogs, we rub elbows with some of the top companies, and we even talk to stars on Twitter. We support each other through tough times, celebrate together, boost each other up when needed, and jump across the web like crazy promoting ourselves, each other, and entering giveaways.
A few tips for those new to the whole online support system/blogging thing.
- Don’t share too much personal info in online profiles unless you are comfortable doing so.
- Don’t believe everything that you read.
- Do be a giver and not only a taker. Those in support groups are more inclined to help you with your problem if they feel that you are giving back to the community as well.
- Don’t neglect your family or IRL friends! Take a break and spend some time with the real people around you.
- If you have a business, do use your new connections to drum up some business!
- If you blog, pay attention to the blogs of those that are “seasoned” and learn from them.
When did you get your start online? Where do you spend most of your time? Have you made any real substantial relationships that you cannot do without?
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{ 6 comments… read them below or add one }
I got started in aol chat rooms in the mid 90s and moved on to ivillage a few years later, after my first miscarriage. Like you, a lot of my ivillage and blog friends became friends IRL. One of my best friends is someone I met on ivillage. She is godmother to one of my children and one of the first people I call during a crisis. I love that the friends I’ve made online visit me when they’re in town, and I know I can do the same. I get holiday cards from people I haven’t met IRL, but whose families I’ve watched grow from year to year, etc, etc. I left message boards behind a few years ago mainly b/c of tip #2, lol.
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Thanks for your comment Dee! I guess if I thought back, I was on in the 90s too. I completely forgot about AOL! But I was indeed on there, and in a couple of other BBS’s. I have been all over the place!
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Interestingly enough, I just started to make my online presence known in 2007 when I started my blog. At this point I certainly have more online friends than real-life friends, and in many cases stronger relationships. I do however try to balance the two as much as possible being an introvert.
I spend most of my time in art communities, sharing techniques and ideas…I guess I’m more of what you’d call an online artist who’s also a mom!
Great read!
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I just found your site this evening. Glad I did. I was online in the 90′s, left and them came back in 2004 when I found out I was pregnant with our 1st. I started out on BabyCenter. In 2007 I met a great group of women who were TTC and I’m still friends with them today. We keep in touch through Facebook and email.
I recently got into blogging within the last year. I love Twitter now that I understand more how it works.
I do still chat on a couple of message boards,but blogging,facebook and Twitter are my man ways of keeping in touch online.
I started my mommy blogger online time just over two months ago. It is an interesting community for sure (part advocacy, part high school girl clique, part awesome women). I am well-seasoned with IRL community building and I think many of the same principles apply such as you need to be a friend to have friends. Thanks for the tips though, I am still learning these waters.
I started online in 2000 via IVillage while I was pregnant. In 2006, I really posted on IVillage during my 2nd pregnancy. I started blogging in 2008 and Twitter last year. Twitter is probably where I spend most of my time networking, however I do belong to about 4 sites where I network with other mom bloggers. Since I am new to blogging I so appreciate the networking in the past year with some really awesome women.