I worry about teaching my daughter to speak up. There are too many children who think that they don’t matter. They don’t see their place in the world very easily, and the ones that they do try to fit into are often carved out by a shortsighted society. Unfortunately, feelings of unworthiness is learned. Adults who believe that they do not matter ingrain this same thinking into children and the cycle just repeats.
I admit that it has taken me a long time to understand that my weight, my skin color, my geekiness did not negate my feelings- my point of view. It’s hard to believe that when you have experienced both verbal and sexual abuse and have been made to feel small. It’s even harder when those who are supposed to love you the most and protect you drop the ball or steal your power. I have been fighting this battle since childhood and still as an adult I am not 100% comfortable with the idea that what I want and need is important. But I wanted that cycle to end. I did not want to teach my daughter to just accept life.
My desire to create Moms of Hue stemmed from me realizing that I wanted a place where I could could freely reveal my thoughts about my life from a perspective that is sometimes quieted in my every day world. And I wanted others to have a place like that as well. I wanted other moms to realize that their beliefs, feelings, ideas were all valid. I wanted a place where we could share our experiences as women of color AND as moms.
For me, Moms of Hue is about Voice. It’s about Strength. It is a gift for my daughter who needs to know that we can no longer quiet our fears, concerns, anger. We are powerful.
Moms of Hue is not a blog; it’s a movement of intelligent, insightful women who were ready to stand up and say the two most powerful words in the world:
“I matter.”
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Beautiful post Kristina, both for expressing your perspective so eloquently and starting Moms of Hue.
Michele thank you and thank you for the tremendous support you have given me both as a writer/editor at MOH and as a friend!
Kristina Brooke´s last blog ..Focus
Thank you for sharing and creating this site. I appreciate your efforts and empathize with your post.
kia´s last blog ..The Ween Machine
Thank you for reading because as much I love that we are writing about our lives it’s an even greater feeling that people like you are reading.
Kristina Brooke´s last blog ..Focus
Kristina,
Our voices are so very important. Silence does nothing for the keeper of it but internalize hurt and emotional destruction. I firmly believe in teaching our kids – at early ages, to learn to speak what’s on their minds. Of course not to the point of disrespect, but to the point that it is clearly understood by the receiver of the information.
If they are not taught to speak up, like you said, it will certainly instill in them that they “don’t matter”. That’s the worst feeling to recover from, and takes many years of repair…
Good post!
Thank you Traci. “Silence does nothing” belongs on a t-shirt or something. We need to spread that message because it is so unbelieveably true!
Kristina Brooke´s last blog ..Focus
Thank you SO much for this article! Saying that the adults in life sometimes “drop the ball…[and] steal your power” verbalized something I’ve been thinking for many years now. Growing up, the main message I received was one of unimportance and uselessness. To this day, I struggle to grasp the concept that anyone would want me, love me, care for me. My power had been stolen.
You and I are among the fortunate ones– the ones that use that experience as a springboard to reach others. I’ve known so many women who just accept that their stolen power is gone forever. We need to claim our power again, and teach our daughters the power that is their birthright.
Kris (feels very odd to write that- almost like I am talking to myself), “thank you” for your comment. I know the message of “unimportance and uselessness” well. We learn to either repeat behavior or we learn to ensure that they are no longer passed on- I prefer change. Women are powerful and knowing this will allow us to teach our children better. Thanks for the support!
Kristina Brooke´s last blog ..Focus
Wow! I so needed to read this today! So many of us go through bouts of this on a regular basis… some more than others. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts!
Christie – The ChatterBox´s last blog ..Get That Elf Off My Shelf! (A Sunday Confessional on Tuesday)