In October 2008, I started to conceptualize what would eventually become the what I claim as my calling—encouraging and supporting African-American mothers and fathers who despite living apart are, want or could be parenting together. Like many vocations, mine was born not of some brilliant idea but rather of an almost desperate need to see myself and my experiences reflected among the plethora of stories and images of women, mothers, parents on this journey of parenting alone or together after a split. Although I found many resources that supported single parents, single mothers, even, as well as those which addressed the challenges and the possibilities after divorce, none really felt like “home” to me.
I was a single, working, Black mother of a brilliantly busy little Black boy. I was among the unwed, and I was struggling trying to find a way to manage conflict with my son’s father and keep our family as far away from the court system as possible. I felt alone, and the absence of my resemblance in the books I studied and the sites I visited mirrored back to me that I was.
But the truth, which became clearer to me through blogging, is that I am not alone. My experiences, my voice, colored (pun intended) by everything that has converged to create me as I am in this moment…it all matters. Somehow it connects me to people who on the surface seem most like me. But mysteriously, it also opens me up to those who at first glance do not. Being able to express myself fully through this medium, through this beautiful place called Moms of Hue, knowing that what I say, who I am is embraced, provides me with a potent reminder that the same is true for all of us. That all of our voices matter…and that there is a place for each of us to call home; a retreat to which we can retire to be fed, filled and empowered to stand strong in who we are so that our mattering might make a difference in this world.
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{ 9 comments… read them below or add one }
Oh, AMEN to that, Talibah. Amen to that! I’m constantly amazed gy and tremendously grateful for the wonderful community of women I’ve found online who make a point of reminding me every single day that I’m not alone… and that’s a BEAUTIFUL thing!
Talibah, this was a beautiful testament to why we need more places like Moms of Hue on the web.
“Somehow it connects me to people who on the surface seem most like me. But mysteriously, it also opens me up to those who at first glance do not”
I was so moved by these two lines- so much so that the wheels in my head are turning…I have an idea for a new project…
Kristina Brooke´s last blog ..Moms of Hue Launch
We all need to have our voices heard to keep us sane. Without an outlet we would explode. Stay strong and keep talking because, though it truly doesn’t matter, there are people out there who want to listen and care.
Andrew aka DadontheRise´s last blog ..Wordless Wednseday
Denene, Kristina & DadontheRise: Thank you…and, I rest my case, because you’ve proven my point. I’m happy to be a Mom of Hue!
Talibah´s last blog ..Book Giveaway: Lifelines-The Black Book of Proverbs
“I felt alone, and the absence of my resemblance in the books I studied and the sites I visited mirrored back to me that I was”.
This is such a true and powerful statement. For every criticism that befalls me/us for creating, participating and promoting a place for moms of hue, there are twice, maybe thrice as many who feel just as you have mentioned above. It takes a village and no one should feel outside or alone.
t. allen-mercado´s last blog ..Downtown, Selling My He[art]
Congrats Talibah on your new website. I can relate to your desire to see more of us on the web. It’s building slowly but still only occupies a small percentage of content geared toward moms.
Thanks for taking a leap of faith and following your dreams!
Samantha´s last blog ..Quick Tips on How to Get Rich
I love the power of the Web and blogging. I’m even more in love with Moms of Hue and the women it’s attracting – of ALL hues. Terrific post Talibah – I’m right there with you!
I can’t believe that you were worried about your post. You have articulated what so many of us feel. Thank you for being a part of Moms of Hue!
Thank you. I feel content in wanting to fully express myself in these mediums on my motherhood journey.
kia´s last blog ..Things I Look Forward To: Linea Nigra