I was watching a conversation via twitter between my little sister and her friend. I know my sisters friend and like her very much. But what they kept writing back and forth I didn’t like at all.
What is the deal with how teenage females talk to each other these days? They use very degrading terms in such a playful manner. Like it’s somehow ok to call your good friend “whore, bitch, ass” and some other terms I can’t type. Didn’t we fight years ago to stop terms like this from being used towards women in music videos, movies and in our communities? So how is it now our young girls use it towards each other and allow young men to use it when talking to them?
Now some people might think this is just a black women issue and problem since most derogatory terms tend to be direct towards us. But here’s the thing that people don’t stop to think about. While it might have started with degrading black women it will eventually be used towards ALL women.
There is no derogatory terms based on race. Disrespect for one race of women will lead to disrespect for all. That’s right, if you’re an Asian, White, Hispanic, etc women then you’ll be called a bitch also.
That by itself is a problem but more then that, I’m noticing that some women don’t even feel their being disrespected anymore. To be refereed to by these terms has become the norm. They hear it but feel nothing by it. Some are even proud that their someone’s number one bitch.
If I was a mother to a young girl I would be livid that my daughter would allow anyone…including close friends…to talk to her like that. But I’m a mother to a baby boy on his way to being a man one day. How can I teach my son to respect females, girls, women when they don’t respect themselves?
Related Posts:
The African-American Beauty Conundrum Of late I have been really worried about raising two ...
New resource helps girls of color find guidance online My friend and fellow Moms of Hue author Traci Lee ...
On being an online mom This is an updated version of a post that I ...
Somebody to lean on Around this time of year I take time to reflect ...
Honoring my Hispanic heritage Did you know that National Hispanic Heritage Month is the ...
Loading ...
{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
I don’t allow anyone to refer to me this way in anyway and it certainly isn’t a joke.
We should not allow ourselves and our children to become numb or familiar with terms like these becoming endearment. There is nothing endearing about a derogatory word.
I plan to ensure that my children understand things like this so they don’t allow themselves to be called by such or themselves refer to anyone in this way.
Very good article.
JamericanSpice´s last blog ..Monday Mingle: What is your favorite technological innovation…?
I feel you on this. Its kind of like fighting an uphill battle. “Bitch” and “whore” for some women are like “nigga” is to some men. People have gotten too comfortable with these terms and still try to make the appropriation argument when it all really boils down to ignorance. Not necessary full on stupidity, but the simple ignorance of being misinformed about how to properly give a term positive power and which terms are even possible of possessing such power.
Barbara´s last blog ..I See
Funny, I watched the grown women on the Real Houswives of Atlanta calling each other Bitches casually, and then again in anger. I bristled each time I heard the casual use of the term. I not going to say it was a friendly use of the term because it’s not. It’s a form of hatefulness that we throw at each other. It’s not a new thing either. Maybe I’m old school, but anytime a woman has called me such a term in the name of being a friend, I immediately distanced myself from that person, and if I didn’t do it in enough time what was sure to follow was competition and hateration.
I have two girls and that’s the message that they will get from me because that’s the message my mom gave to me. If a woman disrespects you by calling you a name like “ho” or “bitch,” she means it. Even if it’s masked in “friendship,” you must be aware that the person doesn’t have your best interest at heart.
Love’s Gumbo´s last blog ..Whose Dog Is It?
I totally agree. I have three teenage daughters and I have seen their conversations with their friends on facebook and twitter and they have used these derogatory terms toward each other. We’ve talked about it, me reiterating what you’ve said and I think they may be listening. I don’t see it as often on their walls anymore. However, I do allow them some leeway for self expression as long as they are not using it in a way to demean or hurt someone else. They said it is all in jest, but like you said, it’s easy for the jokes to become a habit and pretty soon it becomes common place. And if you let your girlfriends call you bitch in jest, just you wait how it feels when a boyfriend calls you that… even in jest. Would you still think it’s alright then? There are some habits that are just best left behind and I’m hoping I can drill that in them before this habit of referring to each other as bitches and ho’s take hold.
Great post!
JMom´s last blog ..HAPPY THANKSGIVING!
Interesting, a few months ago I contacted my SON’S girlfriend’s parents to voice my concerns with the way in she addressed HIM. Respect is an issue all across the board. In over 20 years, my husband has never called me a bitch (to my face, I suspect ever-but for argument’s sake) or referred to me in the derogatory. This may be in part to his home training, although I’m inclined to say my own self-respect and self-reverence has much to do with it as well. Young people need to be empowered to expect the best in order to receive it…some old people too.
t. allen-mercado´s last blog ..Crafeteria is here…