Yesterday, on the way home from a friend’s house, my son and I passed a homeless man on the street. Unlike the usual signs that most carry, his read: “Unresolved Childhood Issues”. When we were caught at the light, I had to stop and stare. It was such a BOLD statement that he was letting the whole world in on. I was in awe of how many people were stopping to give him money. People were relating to his testimonial. As he went from car to car, (there were 5 people that gave him money), all I could do was watch. When the light turned green and we were able to go, I found myself in deep thought.
When I got home, I accessed Facebook and my status read: “This man I saw on the street today asking for change had a sign that read: “Unresolved Childhood Issues” Shit, I think I might qualify for a PayPal button on my Blog because we are in the same boat LOL!” Though I made light of it there, clearly, it is NOT a laughing matter. I could relate to the sign. In fact, I think I was so fixated on it, at the time, for that very reason. It hit home.
I think for a lot of us, there is an inner child that has never been healed, that is waiting for happiness STILL. That the adult in us can’t quite bring to full happiness & peace, because we, ourselves are not yet there. Not there because as life happened, we had to keep growing with the years, and the expectations. Not yet there because some of us convince ourselves that “the past is the past”, without realizing that while it may be, it is still also very much a part of our present and future – until it (whatever ‘it’ is), has been confronted, honestly.
Now…to backtrack a bit, after the light turned green, and before we got home, I turned off the radio and got into a deep dialog with my son. I told him that I never want him internalizing anything. I don’t want him to do as I did as a child by keeping hurts to myself, at the expense of making my mother feel like a “bad parent”. She did her best as a single parent, but while she was doing her best, I was hurting, with nowhere to turn – and no one to turn to.
I told my son that there are many adults I encounter, on a daily basis, through blog posts, ‘live’ conversations, in the family, and external to the family, that have unresolved issues from childhood and are just now trying to work through them. I want as much as possible, for my son to not have to carry any unnecessary baggage into adulthood.
Yes, in a perfect world, we would all be in an organic state, simply allowed to “be” and evolve into that organic being we were meant to be. However, this is not a perfect world, so there is work to be done.
Related Posts:
Book Review: “I Love You and I’m Leaving You Anyway” by Tracy McMillan [/caption] Honestly, when I first started ...A Memoir
![Remind me again…”What is an 8-hour [Work] Day?”](http://www.momsofhue.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/momdaughter.jpg "Remind me again…”What is an 8-hour [Work] Day?”")
Remind me again…”What is an 8-hour [Work] Day?” My good friend sent me a text today. It read: ...
New resource helps girls of color find guidance online My friend and fellow Moms of Hue author Traci Lee ...
Ways to Save Money Now Whether you’re doing well or not, you are feeling the ...
Carry your own weather It's a beautiful day in Phoenix. It's nearly noon, the ...
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
This is real talk! Our pasts and experiences are what shape us into the people that we are now, and the people that we become later on in life. For, in terms of nature/nurture, its never a question of either/or, but always a fact of both/and. Not many people understand this because they too often are focused on a person’s exterior, never taking the time to look deeper. Never allowing themselves to connect or to “relate”.
I can relate! Sometimes the children within can break the adults who embodies them.
So very true…on ALL fronts. There are more of us in this boat than is realized. When I saw those people giving money to this man’s ‘fund’, it made me realize that more than a little bit of people recognize this issue…as an issue. It was such a pivotal moment for me.
XOXO,
Traci´s last blog .."Am I Religious…or Am I Spiritual"
That was a very good and effective sign. It seems that EVERYBODY can relate. The truth is though, we don’t have to keep reliving these past hurts. Getting beyond them takes some understanding, effort and discipline, however, with self-love and empowerment, we can all LET GO and GROW!
astromama´s last blog ..The Lovers
I know, right? When I saw the sign, it was so powerful, I had to use it. It tells the whole picture – without the words.
You are correct in your statement that “we don’t have to keep reliving past hurts”, however, sometimes it is beyond our control. There are trigger words, moments, etc, that bring us right back to certain times. I don’t think it’s a matter of people ‘wanting’ to hold on, moments just present themselves. It is much more of a journey, for some, than it appears on the surface. “Let Go and Grow” is a great motto, and along the same lines of “Let Go and Let God” and most of us do, but does that mean that we will just forfeit all other thoughts and stresses in the process? Not necessarily.
You are correct though, that understanding, love, and effort, and self-empowerment, it can happen. Hopefully, most people are not far removed from support of this nature.
Thank you so much for commenting.
Regards,
Traci
Traci´s last blog .."Am I Religious…or Am I Spiritual"
Hi – I think the sign was good because it made you (and hopefully others) thinks. I think what you did afterwards was great. Talking to your son about it, sharing your personal experiences and just being authentic with him. Now you’ve made me think, which is also great. Thank you.
Hi Swati,
“Thank you” for your comment. The sign was indeed, very telling and it definitely drew me to it as soon as it came up on my screen.
I felt a lot better after discussing this issue with my son because we were able to have a very healthy dialog afterwards, and I want that to continue between us. My mother, who is also a reader of the blog, wanted to talk with me afterwards because she felt that there were things I still needed to discuss with her. So, we are setting time aside to address some issues, later in the week.
I’m glad the post was able to make you think, and I sincerely appreciate your taking time to comment on the issue.
Take care,
Traci
Traci´s last blog .."Am I Religious…or Am I Spiritual"
So happy to hear/read that!! Let the healing begin, or at least, bask in the glory of knowing that, in a moment, you were heard, and that now you have the opportunity to be heard again.
((Hugs))
Barbara´s last blog ..If I Were Ever In Denial…