I originally talked about the cultural phenomenon of “sexting” at A Place of Comfort, but after watching Tyra’s Teens and Parents Sex Summit earlier this week, I thought it could be beneficial to bring the discussion over to Moms of Hue. It was beyond shocking to hear the teens on Tyra’s panel reveal that they had done everything from having a threesome to getting drunk and drugged in preparation for sex, to making sex tapes. Especially since the youngest participant on this panel was only 13 years old! At a glance, it would seem that the issue of sexting is pale in comparision to this, but the fact that policy is being shaped around the act of sexting makes it just as urgent and important as the act of sex itself.
You may have already seen the reports and heard the stories about teens sexting up a storm. The act of sharing naked or half naked pictures of themselves or others via picture mail on their cell phones. Apparently this is a huge issue, and one that carries a penalty under the law if carried out. Teens are being charged with possession of child pornography, are being convicted, and are having to register as sex offenders. All behind taking the private semi public. So far, it seems like the uproar is based on the respectability argument when it comes to girls and a sort of “protection from the real sex offenders” standpoint. Although it is true that pictures can always end up in the wrong hands, and often do (friends of the boyfriend/girlfriend) after bad breakups between the young minded, to be labeled as a sex offender because you send or receive a picture from your boyfriend/girlfriend is a bit harsh in my opinion. Especially when we have people who rape, molest, and murder who also wear that label.
I am quite torn on how I feel about the whole thing. I mean, I do think that there should be some kind of regulation of adolescent bodies in the virtual world, but its a little hard to regulate something that is always one step ahead of the game. How can you really ensure that your teen’s body will not be shared with or without consent? If the option of picture mail is obsolete, there are still places like Myspace and Facebook where they can still be shared. Parents may take away cell phones and request that their child remove themselves from social media sites, but I asure you, new accounts will be opened right back up under your nose, thus, bodies will be shared whether we want them to be or not. So then, is criminalizing the practice really the answer? To be labeled a sex offender is kind of like afixing a Defective sticker to a person. I guess the problem is where technology, society and the law meet. There is always one just outside of the other. I’m also extremely torn on any possibilities to affectively communicate the dangers of exposure and exploitation to teens. I’m just not sure that a teen should be “punished” in this way for this type of… offense.
What do you think?
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
WOW! Really sex “offendership” for sharing nude pictures. I don’t really know what to say except that the moral fabric of the USA has been in crisis since the ’80′s. It has never recovered and falls deeper into a quagmire.
The BS around this topic is thicker than my favorite wool sweater and it is not getting any better. Parents to busy to realize their children are having sex. Families who allow friends of the opposite sex to spend the night. Children who think it is fine to engage in sexual activity of they think they are in love.
We as adults have led ourselves and our children so far from truth. We refuse to take responsibility and therefore we can not correct ourselves. As always, telling truth can only empower the receiver to reach their truth.
Our bodies are sacred houses for our souls. If we continue to allow our children to misuse their bodies, we will eventually be over run by spiritually damaged adults. Oh, wait isn’t that why we are having the problems we are having today? The spiritually damaged adults have spawned seeds and a cycle begins.
adiaha´s last blog ..Super Duper Busy
I don’t know what to say or how to feel about this topic because it is extremely sensitive, in my opinion. When I first heard about this and saw the various specials on it, my mind first went to feeling that somewhere along the line, these girls are feeling the need for acceptance…in all the wrong ways/places.
There are so many angles to come from with it, but I can’t deviate too far from the angle of being a girl once, myself. There are many things that happen in life, that make us hungry for acceptance. So, as far as the laws and things like that, for me, I would tend to focus more on the root of it all, and that is with the so-called “offenders”. Most of the time when these girls are interviewed, they seem confident at first, but before long, they are crying because the hurt is so BIG.
I’m sorry I am going toward the issue of punishment, but I can’t. Not yet. I think there is a beginning to all this and I also know that the peer pressure is something of a beast now, and nothing like it was when we were adolescent.
Something is missing…it’s kind of hard for me to determine a punishment or even advocate for/against without knowing what it is.
A very serious topic though b/c I don’t think any woman aspires to be a prostitute or whore, so there are always mitigating circumstances that land them there. Same thing with these girls, I don’t think they set out to exploit themselves and allow themselves to be exploited, there are some dominant factors, somewhere underlying, that haven’t yet been identified.
Traci´s last blog .."Bye, Bye, Baby…"
As a mom of a girl I am so afraid for her because I worry that no matter what I teach, the pull of the need to be accepted will be too much for me to counteract. And I see these young boys and girls sexting as nothing more than a need to be accepted- to find a connection.
I think parents need to be held responsible- giving children cell phones that allow them freedom that they are not ready for is setting them up for failure. I had an 11 year old nephew with an internet/texting enabled phone and I used to ask his mother what exactly did he have to say to his friends that he didn’t want her to hear. My point is that if parents are going to enable children with tools that allow this level of communication, then parents need to ensure that it is not mishandled.
But then, like Adiaha, I see that there is another issue at play- creating a society of people who don’t know boundaries, self-worth, or self-respect. Laws won’t change this. Only a dramatic change to the value system will…
Kristnia Brooke´s last blog ..Know the Facts: Bringing Home Baby
This is a really difficult subject for me since I am about to buy my daughter a cell phone for her 13th birthday. Actually it is not difficult, it comes at the perfect time. This will help me to have that talk with my daughter about her conduct, sex, texting, and cell phone usage. I’ve been having this talk with her over and over again since she was about 10 years old, and lately she has been responding instead of blushing. This will be yet another lesson for her to learn about responsibility.
In terms of punishment for the forwarders of these nude and semi-nude images, I think it’s important for them to get the message that degrading women is not cool. This type of activity is not different from when we were in school, although we may think it is. It’s the same mentality as when a girl at your school kissed someone or had sex with someone she trusted and then somehow it spread all over the school and her reputation became mud. Forwarding these emails, texts, etc. is still for the purpose of degrading a women.
Girls taking these photos is still because they think doing something special for a boy will get them love or happiness. This is a lesson for boys and girls to learn, and it is an age old lesson wrapped up in new technology.
Love’s Gumbo´s last blog ..Getting To The Root Of Unhappiness
“an age old lesson wrapped up in new technology.” I really like that take on it Brooke. Teens and sex is nothing new. Just as you, and others have pointed out, we were all kids once and I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that we’ve all done things that kids do. I think once parents are aware that technology really has no limits that we will learn how to handle and address all the possibilities that our kids can discover within it.
I think the discussions thus far have been great and I agree with a lot of the points that we all are making. I think a bottom line could be communication. The ability for parents and their children to be able to communicate effectively around the issue of sex. Taking different approaches and just really making sure that we go beyond the “don’t do that” speech and give them adequate information about sex, exploitation, love, affection, and all of those things.
Barbara´s last blog ..Its Boobie Time!