Names and what they say about you have always been a hot topic. I never realized that one day I would be faced with making decisions regarding my name. When I arrived in the USA on a work permit as a Software Engineer the contracting company that brought me over tried obtaining contracts with clients by providing them with our resume. The guy in-charge of the company was an ex-South African and typically brought South Africans because he thought he was being “kind”, we later realized that he understood the “oh-I -am-so-grateful-for-any-crumbs-you-throw” attitude enough to exploit it.
Ironically last year I heard a family speak of how they gave their son’s English names, as they heard that helps them get a job easier, rather than having an Indian name. I am sure that some people do actually judge by those things (hey, the world is not perfect) but you can’t run from your skin color, so you better get used to it sooner than later.
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{ 5 comments… read them below or add one }
That’s a powerful story. There is definitely a lot of “nameism” in the world today. Its one of those things that work simultaneously with racism, sexism, ageism and any other isms you can think of.
I dislike the fact that people have to change their identity JUST to make others comfortable. As you pointed out, we are who we are and we can’t change that (and we shouldn’t have to).
Barbara Henry´s last blog ..On the 6
Sadly, I did worry about what I would name my daughter. My real first name is very ethnic and I had such issues with it growing up because people would misspell it or ask annoying questions about it when filling out applications. Eventually I got so tired of correcting people, I legally changed my name to my middle name which my mother and everyone else had been calling me since I was five.
I wish I was strong enough and brave enough to have kept my real name.
Kristina Brooke´s last blog ..Today
Sadly it is not only about strength but a reality about how tough it is with an ethnic name. You are truly judged before you are seen. I also though long and hard before naming my kids but more because I felt the name would get butchered if it was too long or difficult.
Wow. I have to be honest, when I labored over what to name my (white) kids, I was more concerned about minimizing the chances of cruel schoolyard nicknames. Thank you. Your honesty in this article is eye-opening. I’m going to start paying attention to my inner-thoughts and see if I suffer from name-ism. What a shame. I’m so glad you’re a strong woman and use Niri now.
I have the same issues Kristina had. I sometimes think about changing my name, but I also think it’s not my responsibility to make it easy for people. Taking the time to learn how to spell and say someone’s name correctly can say a lot about a person, in my experience.
Dee´s last blog ..What she brought…